Liberated from confusion

Now that the cat's out of your bag, I guess I can renew the trust I had in you my friend. :) I'm sure it wasn't easy telling me what in the world of Oz was going on, but I'm glad you did cuz at least we can still be normal friends again.

LEECH

THE THOUGHT OF YOU BEING SUCH A FUCKING LAZY SLUG WHO DOESN'T TRY HARD ENOUGH IS FUCKING ANNOYING AND YOU BETTER NOT COME ASKING ME IF THIS IS ABOUT YOU OR WHO IT'S ABOUT CUZ IMMA FUCKING TEAR YOUR FACE OFF, IF YOU THINK IT'S YOU, THEN YES, THIS POST IS FOR YOUR FUCKING FACE TO SEE. AND IM SO SICK OF HAVING TO HAND ANYTHING TO ANYONE WHO DOESN'T TRY AND JUST WANTS TO BE FED WITH ANOTHER SILVERSPOON. WHY AM I ALWAYS ENDING UP WITH SUCH FUCKERS? I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM ALL THESE USELESS NEGATIVITY IN MY LIFE,

IF THERE'S ANYTHING I DETEST MORE THAN FAKE PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE TRULY FUCKING USELESS THAT TRY TO SEEM USEFUL BY BITING THE HAND THAT FEEDS THEM. E.W. LAZY PEOPLE SHOULD ALL BE FAT. IT'S THE LAW OF MOTHER NATURE. AND KARMA'S CYCLE. THE BALANCE TO ALL YIN & YANG

I AM THIS CLOSE TO THROWING MY PHONE AT MY SCREEN SO IMMA IMAGINE YOUR FACE ON MY PUNCHING BAG.

GOODBYE AND FUCK YOU

Crazy

WOOHOO! Ok I totally predicted everyone's reactions, like "what?! That's so long ago already!" hahaha! It's almost close to a year since I got my punching bag and I only #FINALLY put it up today.. Cuz my mom wants to be around to supervise the whole drilling process cuz she's scared that the whole house will be filled with "dust". And also cuz we couldn't find a space to sacrifice for my punching bag LOL.

 Anw, I am so loving my sore knuckles HAHAHA! I desperately needed an avenue to vent all of my sadness and anger out, given the current circumstances. So it's exam week and the past week hasn't been great for me, except for when I went for my jogs more regularly (surprisingly).

Too much drama going on, now I know what people mean when they wish they could escape all of this. And this makes me love the beach even more. Sigh.. 

I never understood why people felt that the lives they led were shitty cuz for me I could always find a reason to smile a midst some of the crapy drama. But now I feel like I am less tolerant and more easily emotional? Okay, I have always been emotional, like if I'm happy you can tell, but I am rarely emotional in a sad way, which is what I've been experiencing lately. It's like I can't even hide my sad face.

Am glad I still have a certain friend who will still ask me out to have a decent meal, out of all the new friends I've made so far (over the 3months since uni started). After that incident, and after the drama (on my side) that happened and after what Xinfang hinted me about the bad news that she didn't wanna tell me cuz she's afraid I'll get affected by it... I'm not even sure who I can trust to be my friend anymore. How can someone seem so genuine but actually have so much to hide? 

Starting to feel like I'm a late bloomer when it comes to such situations in life but I guess it's okay.. it's life's entertainment for me maybe? Yes, I can turn something negative to sound kinda fun, I'm jsut like that, despite all the insecurities I have about myself and how dissatisfied I am with the genes I've inherited and basically my appearance (although that does not mean I would want to go under the knife, NEVER, if I can't be the type of beautiful that I perceive to be 'perfect' the natural way, I DON'T WANT IT, simple as that.) 

Anyway, yeah, time to get back to my tutorials, hope I'll wake up tmr in a body as hot as Candice's and an angelic face like hers hahah! FreakyFriday Felicia's Edition.

Ps: DON'T GIVE UP! DON'T GIVE IN!! It's one last PUSH FOR TWO WEEKS FELI! And then you can got to all the ballet classes you want and do all the boxing you want, and long jogs for your liss cardio and stop being a Ball (lol class inside joke) and be 'rewarded' with watching the VSFS 2014 LIVE!!! :D in peace~ GOGOGO!!! CANDICE IS ROOTING FOR YOU! HAHAHAHA!
"Nothing worth anything is easy!"

Sleepover

Guess what! I'm sleeping over at Maryanne's hall today! Hehehe! So fun!

We talked about so much, it's never ending! She's planning to get me the 2012 VSFS angel robe WOOHOO!!! :DDD So exciting! Hopes she remembers how to tell if it's a fake HAHAHA! YAY!! So exciting, hmmm I wish I could get my Nike Airmax 2014 pink-aqua running shoes as a gift but I don't think anyone knows how to find it except me, or maybe Zihui since I always show her and tell her the names of it on FB chat hahaha! But yeah, I guess you can only find it on ebay to be safe, and shipped from US or Netherlands or Sweden or any western countries.

Modelinia: Candice Swanepoel on Preparing for the 2014 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Yay! New interview! ^^

With Thanksgiving, the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and the holiday season all lying just around the corner, anticipation is running high around the Modelinia office and we’re not alone in our excitement.  On Tuesday morning, Victoria’s Secret Angel Candice Swanepoel descended upon the retailer’s Herald Square store in New York City where she had the honor of unveiling this year’s multi-million dollar Dream Angels Fantasy Bras along with its latest holiday designer collection.  Surrounded by a plethora of sparkly, lacy, frilly bras and panties in hues of red, lavender and black, Candice, looking very sexy and chic in a high-slit asymmetrical skirt and black turtleneck, shared her gift picks of the season while chatting with us about the upcoming Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.  Get the scoop on how the South African stunner is gearing up for this year’s runway including her pre-show workout routine, must-have London travel essentials and more!

1. There are a lot of great gift picks here today. What do you have on your wish list this year?

I love the new Scandalous collection.  The campaign is very dark and moody and of corse, very sexy.  The push-up bra is one of my favorite pieces in the collection.  I also always recommend perfume as a great gift for a loved one— you can’t go wrong.  This year, there’s the new Heavenly fragrancewhich comes with limited-edition Swarovski crystal wings, making it an extra-special gift for the holiday season.

2. With just a few weeks left until the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, what are you doing right now to get your body ready for the runway?

As a model, I have to stay ready all year round, but about four weeks before the show is when I really start to push myself.  I try to focus on my butt and legs a lot more using different strength training exercises and I also box. Justin [Gelband] and I really haven’t changed much of my workout over the years (Ed. note: clearly, it’s working for her).  We still tend to do a lot of leg lifts, a lot of exercises using the ball, and a lot of things that I can do lying down when I’m traveling and in the hotel.

3. Any favorite London hotspots?

Usually when I’m in London for work, I’m unfortunately flying in and out and not staying very long.  But I do have some favorite areas that I like to stay in, like Soho.  That’s kind of like where everything happens and there’s also a lot of really great restaurants.  I also love to visit the different gardens— they take very good care of them over there.

4. What must-have beauty products will you be bringing with you to London?

My beauty bag is really always packed— it’s a simple routine:  cleanse, tone (rose water spray), moisturize and then add an eye cream at night.  Of course, Victoria’s Secret takes care of us at the show, so I don’t have to worry about bringing a lot with me.  It is important though that my skin is nice and tan for the show so I make sure to bring self-tanning cream with me.  I really like the one from Lorac and then Victoria’s Secret has a great lotion that also adds a little shimmer to the skin.  And then I always make sure to pack my favorite hair products.  Our hair is worked on all the time, so it’s important that I use a really good, nourishing shampoo and conditioner like the ones fromKerastase.

5. Finally, we know you’re a fan of healthy smoothies.  What are some of your favorite things that you like to throw in the blender in the morning to help keep you at your best?

I love smoothies!  At home I like to make a blueberry, banana, protein shake.  I like to add little potions to it, like collagen powder, fish oil, almond butter, honey— healthy things like that. I also always do a protein shake after I finish working out to help support muscle growth to replenish my body.

From: Modelinia

Where is my trade off?!

[Peep into my convo with Abbey today]

A: Is it just me or the guys that have a high chance of liking you all the same one... people say something then start to act all weird!!

F: YA IKR, I tell u, I'm cursed. 

So, what I don't understand is, if I'm already cursed with such a horrible curse then why aren't I pretty and hot yet??!!

Rmb I said, if I had to sacrifice something big and equally impt in return for granting my wish to be pretty and smart and hot (haha!) it would be to be to not find my partner in life right??

SO WHY AM I NOT GRANTED MY WISH NOW THAT THIS SACRIFICE IS TRUE!!!

A: Obviously you are hot and pretty  Just that you dont know only 

And i tell you, your wish wouldnt make you any happier de uhh!

Everyone else knows~

F: T^T My wish would make me happier!! Hahaha

Feels like my life is a joke to the Universe/Stars/Fairygodmother/CandiceNiangNiang(LOL)/whatever that hears my wishes :/

Ps: I need to learn to shut my mouth on certain opinions :(( I think Sean is kinda annoyed at what I said abt his ootd T^T even though(I'm sure he isn't petty) he said he don't care but it feels like there's 0.000001% annoyance 😅😰 I know he will probably never know abt this blog or see this but please don't be mad!! I am really bad with words T^T Things are really getting more crappy these days, first Andreas isn't really talking to me anymore, like idk what happened?? It feels like I did or say something wrong but the fact is I don't even know what, or recall anything. So now I have 1 less friend, and I have no one to eat with me when XF isn't around T^T. Then now, I can't shut my stupid mouth from saying things I don't even mean for it to be a bad thing. :( WHYYYYYYY! 

Psps: okay y'know what, I just re-read whatever I said, and it's not even offensive la! So I don't think he's mad, but if it is then I'm really *speechless*

Can you spot me?

Found some of my last performance photos taken in 2012? or was it 2013? on Dancepointe's FB uploads and from my friend's albums.. Can you spot me?

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Alright. if you can't, I'll give you some hints, my face can be seen (DUH, why would I ask you to guess if half my face is covered or unrecognizable. -.-) and if you can recognize my face shape it would be better! Btw, my legs look quite nice in pointe shoes okay! LOL So don't bother finding pork-y legs.

So have you found me?? If you thought it was the first girl then... WRONG! I am hardly ever good enough/ petite enough to be in front LOL!

If you guessed the 3rd girl from the front, in the left row then CONGRATULATIONS!!! :D Yes, the one looking like she's sleeping that's me haha! I'm beside Joey whose face is covered in this photo... I can't rmb who was the first girl though.... I think it's Natalie... I really can't rmb, I only rmb where I was standing HAHAHA!

Guess!!!

Okay I'll just tell you, I'm in the 2nd column(counting from the right), 2nd girl.

Okay this is a bit hard right! 7th girl in the row, behind Angeline! hehe!

This is obvious enough...

And so is this...

I'm beside Angeline in this one but we're diagonally spaced so it's pretty hard..I'm behind the first girl on the right :D The smaller girl behind me is Angeline!

 This was back in lower Sec :D I used to think I looked like crap but now I think it's still okay! LOL

Lost & fickle

So.. I've been thinking the past week that I might not be having a birthday party after all..

Firstly, there's so much to plan and finding accommodating locations are rather troublesome, they are either inflexible in that they insist I use their catering/food provided, or I can't decorate the place by sticking blue tack ( they insist on only having flower stands as decor =.=) or they can't accommodate the number of ppl I have to invite, about 60 at the very least.

And I don't want a chalet cuz honestly. I hate staying in chalets. Especially the ones in SG, cuz it's usually quite inaccessible from necessities. More importantly, the 5 days leading up to my birthday I'm having 2 camp-related chalets consecutively, so I'd be damn sick of chalet already.

And since Candice didn't have an extravagant party too(lol, but it's cuz she was away from family, working overseas), I suppose it's much more meaningful to have multiple simple celebrations with the ones that matter and at the same time I can give them all my full attention, which I won't be able to if I had a party.

The only reason I want a party is probably cuz I can have one of those pretty themed cakes, wear a nice outfit(?) (LOL)  and basically cuz parties are fun! IMO. Also cuz my actualy birthday is during semester break and on a Saturday. But oh well, I'm having trouble with getting a good venue, let alone come up with the theme, so I guess I'd much prefer to keep it simple.

I guess life has a way of making you slowly learn to appreciate simplicity in everything. So yup I guess this should be my decision..
Back to my tutorials now!

May seem stubborn to you

Trying to start on some Math catching up but I can't seem to concentrate now :(.. Anw, this week was kinda of fulfilling in a way cuz I managed to exercise at least 3 times so far, hopefully later I won't be too tired to go for my jog in the evening. If I do, I'll jump rope! Speaking of which I ran 3.8k on Monday and 4.4k on Tuesday YAY!!! Was feeling super motivated by Candice for some reason haha!

Plus, I am recently always sort of stressed and sad, to which Abbey says "You know I am damn afraid that you might have some sort of depression! Cuz you're only in ur first year of Uni!", during our gym session after my DE paper yesterday. (btw, I'm still kinda sad after finding out I failed my Physics quiz, although I don't deserve to feel sad cuz I didn't do some of the tutorials :( )

Anyway, I just thought, "I have to do this more consistently". It's not about speed, like running was fast as you can for 2.4k or 3k or 4k, etc it's the quality, like pacing yourself properly I guess! I realized, after doing a lot research and cross referencing, and through Kayla Itsines' fitness "education" in her ebook, that even though u may be just doing a slow long jog, it's probably gonna be more effective in the long run and when the benefits accumulate.

Comparing my runs from the end of last year and earlier this year, before I started on Kayla's routine, to my recent runs, I realized something. I used to sort of "sprint" in the beginning of my runs so I can clock a passable timing for my 2.4k but usually after my 2.4 mark I continue to run for another 1-3k depending on my level of motivation (LOL). But as expected I was super slow. And compared to my jogs now, which I jog at like a slow enough pace so that I can keep this consistency for at least 35mins- 45mins (which is recommended by Kayla as LISS cardio), it's almost the same timing! Just that I reach the 2.4k mark much earlier last time. But ultimately, I still end up finishing at almost the same timing, just abt 2-3 mins short.

Which brings me to what I wanna say, I may have finished my 2.4k part of my run earlier last time, but in the end the amount of fat burned effectively is more when I am consistent throughout cuz I'm metabolizing fat for energy for a longer time than when I sprinted at the beginning where my body was metabolizing energy from the carbs :/ Additionally, I also find that I actually don't find it as tough to push myself to get up for my "runs" when I jog at a consistent pace.

So yup, and I also believe in what Michael Olajide says about conditioning. The more you do it, the more conditioned your body will get, so at the end of the day you will naturally be progressively running faster even without you noticing it :D

So screw those people who keep trying to force their beliefs on me. You like to sprint all out? Fine, do it your way but I have a different set of goals to reach and I have a plan which I'd like to try and experiment without having you force your opinions on me and bringing me down.

What works for others( especially guys) may not work on me or everyone else. This is probably why I don't like exercising with most of my friends cuz they are always forcing what they think is right, on me. We are all on different levels of fitness and your body isn't like mine. Plus you don't know how hard I've worked, (wait till they try Kayla Itsines' book and complete it consistently, then they'll know how hard I worked).

But anw, my right knee is really giving me problems, especially when I go down stairs, I feel pain. Sometimes I don't feel it but most of the time the pain is there. Which is also why I'm no longer doing HIIT sprints but just refocusing on LISS cardio, jump roping and boxing(soon, when my bag is up) :DD

And like Kayla says, "train like those whose bodies you want to achieve", if you want to get their bodies, you have to do what they do. So if I want a body like Candice's I have to do what she does, but ofcourse, areas where I lack in, like her crazily high metabolism, I have to make up for it with more cardio and building lean muscles.

So yup, this is sort of a rant I guess, but I also want this to be a record of what I've learnt about myself from my "journey" so far.

*Add-on*
This page totally reinstates what I've been explaining!! Which I didn't know there was a term for it, Medium Intensity Steady State(MISS) cardio.. Basically it just means that you either do one of the extremes (super fast or super slow) or u don't do it at all cuz MISS is the least effective.

Conclusion: Do which ever suits you best/ you prefer cuz at the end of the day which ever you'll prefer, you'll work harder at it and be consistent with it. But the best is that you do a bit of both extremes :D Like what is recommended here.

Alessandra and Adriana for the Fantasy Bra this year

And... it's out! Ed Razek announced on his instagram just a few mins ago that they'd be the first to wear the dual FB. Interesting... but shouldn't they let Doutzen have a chance at it?! Adriana and Ale have both worn it before :( Oh well, good luck Doutzen, I really hope it's your turn next year!!