Dilemma

According to Dictionary.com, Dilemma means "A situation requiring a choice between equally undesirable alternatives." That just like what I've been feeling the last few days and I still am now! D-:<

Today I decided to be back in SP cause I really don't wanna do Maths & Physics all over again. And I don't wanna have to compete with that brat. But something keeps telling me to go back, like I keep feeling nauseous! HELLLP MEEE!!!!!

♪♫♪ "Take me away, a secret place~ A sweet escape, take me away~ Take me away to better days~ Take me away, a hiding place~" ♪♫♪

HATE THAT I'M SO FICKLE MINDED!

I can trick myself into believing that staying in NP is good, and I can do the same for the SP option.

Mommy says whatever I do until now has been a disappointment.. So heart wrenching! I really want to know why everything I do, everything that I am, is always a disappointment. Everyday I try to be better but it always backfire on me. Why can't I just do things right?! Why do I always do things that make the people around me suffer?! I am really just a piece of useless, disappointing piece of shit.

This is why the song that represents me will ALWAYS be Reflection from Disney's Mulan.

♪♫♪ "Now I see, that if I were truly to be myself, I would break my family's heart" ♪♫♪